خاله ساناز

I really don't want to say something that cause shame feeling in people especially  for my Family and Mohammad but sometimes anger and heat control our reactions and we enjoy of others shameing  maybe when guilty person is  ashame of his or her manner it's like a bowel of cold water on fire of our heart  but at the end my ruth will be melted and i kiss or forgive them being a sympathetic  i think is much more better than a cruling i really could to forget and forgive and i decided to omit all people that make me suffer im life completely when i say omit i mean omiting phisically and mentally that nothing related to them is important anymore,love you all my friends,

سلام این حس من بود پس گویا تر از این نمی شد:

دردهای من
جامه نیستند
تا ز تن در آورم
چامه و چکامه نیستند
تا به رشته ی سخن درآورم
نعره نیستند
تا ز نای جان بر آورم

دردهای من نگفتنی
دردهای من نهفتنی است

دردهای من
گرچه مثل دردهای مردم زمانه نیست
درد مردم زمانه است
مردمی که چین پوستینشان
مردمی که رنگ روی آستینشان
مردمی که نامهایشان
جلد کهنه ی شناسنامه هایشان
درد می کند

من ولی تمام استخوان بودنم
لحظه های ساده ی سرودنم
درد می کند

انحنای روح من
شانه های خسته ی غرور من
تکیه گاه بی پناهی دلم شکسته است
کتف گریه های بی بهانه ام
بازوان حس شاعرانه ام
زخم خورده است

دردهای پوستی کجا؟
درد دوستی کجا؟

این سماجت عجیب
پافشاری شگفت دردهاست
دردهای آشنا
دردهای بومی غریب
دردهای خانگی
دردهای کهنه ی لجوج

اولین قلم
حرف حرف درد را
در دلم نوشته است
دست سرنوشت
خون درد را
با گلم سرشته است
پس چگونه سرنوشت ناگزیر خویش را رها کنم؟
درد
رنگ و بوی غنچه ی دل است
پس چگونه من
رنگ و بوی غنچه را ز برگهای تو به توی آن جدا کنم؟

دفتر مرا
دست درد می زند ورق
شعر تازه ی مرا
درد گفته است
درد هم شنفته است
پس در این میانه من
از چه حرف می زنم؟

درد، حرف نیست
درد، نام دیگر من است
من چگونه خویش را صدا کنم؟

Hi, i am here after a trip to one of the farest port of Iran Chabahar,i am really full of regret for my homecountry,a land whit 4 different seasons,various type of foods fruits,vegtables,nuts,.......................full sources of energy fuels and at last our riches should consume their money in forien countries such as Turkey,Dubei,and our peoples lives in a port like Chabahar whit such weather and Eco-system   various type of Turtles,crabs,fishes,kingfisher and ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,in a   poverty,all of Sistan & Baloochestan province doesn't have Gas canalization the water that has been provided in civilization net isn't drinkable you cant find and sanitation center like hospital in town most of people can't speak farsi and don't have litracy and little boys instead of going to school are trying to get money to manage themselves and their family from any unlogical ways, in this situation don't forget that Iran is one of the biggest exporter of Oil,petrol and Gas to world,may be this action is a method to control people who live in borders, but for 3 days it was really enthusiastic and surprizing for us for first time i visited Oman sea,and Chabahar golf but in streets i really wanted to shut that i love all of you as  people of my homecountry,in old Bazar of town you see perfumes and shampoos from old acients you really feel that these people are living in100 years befors  the shape of their dresses chadors but i suggest you to go and visit what our goverment  are doing and operating whit such a country, Chabahar whit such a coast should be a center of tourism and be one of the richest towns of world instead of this midnights men of town are on motorcycles middle of desert to Contraband narcotic  materials do you know why ?to stay alive and don't dieing of   hunger the only hobby of people is smoking ghalyan in coast and playing cards,no sinema no park ,nothing i was thinking that is for example the goverment investigates for bulding any essential units for them therefore will be created many job apportunities that will atract many contrasts and operator there that our concentration problem in Tehran that causes airpollution ,traffic and ,,,,,,,will be solved when will we start !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1  

Today is Mohammad's birthday,tomorrow we will go to Chabahar ofcorse its  plane ticket is his gift ,Chabahar is the southeastest city of Iran that  is about 2300 km far from tehran  and it takes 2.5 hours to get there , chabahr is the only port of Iran that accesses to ocean next 4 days is Tasoa & ashora holidays in Iran and in this season it's the best apportunity to go chabahar because it's very hot and sultry Cjabahr is in the coast of Oman sea and 99.65% of its population are Soni(in Islam we have 2 sect shiye and soni) i think it will be so surpring when i come back i will talk more,c u bye 

این خانه قشنگ است ولی خانه من نیست
این خاک چه زیباست ولی خاک وطن نیست
 آن دختر چشم آبی گیسوی طلایی
طناز سیه چشم چو معشوقه من نیست
آن کشور نو آن وطن دانش و صنعت
هرگز به دل انگیزی ایران کهن نیست
در مشهد و یزد و قم و سمنان و لرستان
لطفی است که در کلگری و نیس و پکن نیست
در دامن بحر خزر و ساحل گیلان
 موجی است که در ساحل دریای عدن نیست
در پیکر گلهای دلاویز شمیران
عطری است که در نافه ی آهوی ختن نیست
آواره ام و خسته و سرگشته و حیران
هرجا که روم هیچ کجا خانه من نیست
آوارگی وخانه به دوشی چه بلایست
دردی است که همتاش در این دیر کهن نیست
من بهر که خوانم غزل سعدی و حافظ
در شهر غریبی که در او فهم سخن نیست
هرکس که زند طعنه به ایرانی و ایران
بی شبه که مغزش به سر و روح به تن نیست
پاریس قشنگ است ولی نیست چوتهران
لندن به دلاویزی شیراز کهن نیست
هر چند که سرسبز بود دامنه آلپ
چون دامن البرز پر از چین وشکن نیست
این کوه بلند است ولی نیست دماوند
این رود چه زیباست ولی رود تجن نیست
این شهرعظیم است ولی شهرغریب است
این خانه قشنگ است ولی خانه من نیست

Nowadays i really have problem whit untidness of persons in my life what i lend to somone whit hand should become a runner follow it to take it back and at last they say it has become lost i will buy you another i really can't accept this option i want my own book or etc a new one isn't mine i don't feel comfort whit it please guide me what should i do?should i cut my connection to society?should i repeat to myself  that lending anything belong to me to anothers is Forbidden when i want anything i go directly to where i think it should be and find it it gives me really relaxation this manner but when others aren't like this i really  become angry and this subject hurts me i don't know why it's not important and logical reaction by  others

Yesterday i was proud of my reaction and appeal face to happens that were acted to my car ,last night i found my car washed and tidy in front of Mohammad's office and ofcorse visit 2 brothers hardly tried to connect to famous policemen in North to take back its card and insurance paper i really was saticfied because of my manner in that situation i only took keys and came back home ,it was really a good and suitable punishment that told them they should act like my own way and manner if they want to continue relation with me before this action i have done same job to another ones too and today i am really powerfull and energic because of continues victories maybe it's not any important subject but i don't know why making somone broken has bercome so serious for me i wish same victory for all my lovely friends,kiss   

I always wounder about careless people,I myself isn't very on time and carefull person ,naturaly i forget manythings but carelessness of some people really is surprizing and magic you know i am very sensetive about my car and its liesences such as its card,fuel card and etc as i said last weekend we were invited to an engagment party in north of Iran because of bad weather and slipping roads my brother in law(Mohammad's brother)said it's not clear that they would come to north or not take his car (Megan and go on a trip therefore he took my car whit its card and insurance paper because Mohammad's car was in repairing garage,we went to North and saturday night he decided to come to party he has been in hurry till arrive on time to North therefore   he precessed unregulary and police caught him and you can easily suspect its result my carcard and insurance paper have been attached to his driving liesence the surprizing point of this matter is this:yesterday he was in north we cameback after party but they didn't and instead of going to police center in Amol they have gone to Bazar to buy fresh Fish, i really want to adapt myself to this new family but belive me i can'ttttttttttttttt,i tried but really it's impossible now i burnt back of my hand a persian expression to give my car to any member of my husband's family,i think if they were a little more carefull they would be so succeed but  regret regret and  regrets